Secret Sister Dilemma Article by Julia Bettencourt

The Secret Sister Dilemma
Part 2
Julia Bettencourt

My husband and I recently began attending a new church where they do have a Secret Sister Program and I am going to participate in it. However, I have opted out of them in the past. I’m not much on the ‘secret’ part. Personally I’d rather hear a prayer request straight from someone's lips, not written on a card. I want to be able to see the look in their eyes, hear the pain or concern in their voice, and get a better understanding in order to pray for them more effectively.

Also, I think that if you know who your ‘sister’ is, it enables you to fellowship with that person and grow a relationship with them. It allows you to have more meaningful fellowship together. You can meet for a cup of tea or go for a walk together, or even make a phone call just to say “hello” and check on them. Personally, I think too much emphasis is put on sending ‘secret' encouragement but ‘open’ encouragement through talking and getting to know each other with one on one fellowship is not encouraged.

Too many times, I’ve seen Secret Sister programs where, yes, encouragement notes were passed, and that’s a good thing, but there really wasn’t much actual fellowship and unity in the church among the ladies involved. I think there is a world of difference between writing a note to someone to say you are praying for them or are encouraged by them and actually going up to that person, putting your arm around them, and saying, “I’m praying for you” or “You are an encouragement to me.” I think we miss out on so much, and our churches miss out on so much when only ‘secret’ fellowship is encouraged. We’ve got to remember to encourage other types of fellowship among our ladies as well. A ladies group that is knit together in love and has a huge bond of fellowship can be such a great impact on a local church.

Okay, say now you’ve evaluated your Secret Sister program. If yours seems to be working as it was intended, then great. But how do you fix it if it needs fixed? Eliminating the program altogether is probably not a good idea because the purpose for it is still there, that being the need to encourage fellowship among your church ladies at a personal level. A slight or even dramatic overhauling of the program may be more fitting.

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